people always say 'you only remember God when you are in trouble, when you are fine, you don't even think in Him'
i don't know when was the first time i heard that, but i know that at some point it made a clic on my way to relate to God and the way how i let Him into my problems.
as a Christian i was told to give grace every day, be thankful for every blessing, even those i couldn't see. I was also told to put my problems in His shoulders 'cos He could bear the burden that i wasn't able.
Although i have believed in this all my life, i always have problems with that last part....
not that i ever think that i'm some kind of invincible being with the ability to fix my own problems. But, because i feel so unworthy of His mercy sometimes, that i don't think is fair to ask for His help.
When i am feeling the blessings in my life, i thank God for it, i notice His hand in my life, family, friends, I thank just for be able to notice all His greatness in every aspect, in every little thing that He manage to show me, and i pray to radiate all those feelings to others so they can see how wonderful He is.
But, when i'm facing a problem, when i see that there is something i can't manage on my own, somehow that stupid phrase gets into my head "you only remember God when you are in trouble", and i start to avoid being in the same 'room' with God, just to not let Him know that i have a problem
some of you may say is pride, and probably it is... but i feel it like guilt. For all that i have done, for all i haven't done, for all the times He ask for me, and I didn't answer.
guilt guilt guilt
yes... i know that:
- God will forgive me, and probable He already did
- I have to forgive myself, and move on
- i have to learn how to really put my pain in His shoulders
- i even have to learn how to be thankful for the tasks and test in life, 'cos that's the way He is teaching me.
do you have the same problem?
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