cynthia's Revelife

Friday, June 27, 2008

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:22:09 GMT

I've been reading C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters, that my sister brought to me, saying 'prepared yourself!'

And indeed i wish i had been prepared for all the things that were presented to me and made me collapsed a little.

Mostly because i always thought i was doing... not so bad with my life and the way i looked at my christianity.

I haven't finish to read it all, because of time and because i want to read it very thoughtfully, i want that every thing that was meant to go right to my mind and heart sticks in it for ever. But i want to share something that made sane when i read it:

"When He talks of their losing their selves, He only means abandoning the clamour of self-will; once they have done that, He really gives them back all their personality, and boasts (I am afraid, sincerely) that when they are wholly His they will be more themselves than ever. Hence, while He is delighted to see them sacrificing even their innocent wills to His, He hates to see them drifting away from their own nature for any other reason."

What do you think about that?

(i found the online book here)

i have to remember a lot of things every day just to keep on going.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 06:42:22 GMT

i have to remember that God loves me.
and He is going to be with me everyday despite my sins and faults.
that He has a plan for me. And i just have to wait.
that He has forgotten my sins and He's trying to teach me how to live a good life
that i don't need anyone but Him, so i have to stop seeking for everybody's approval.
And that this life is nothing compare to the greatness of His kingdom.

All this things i have to remember everyday, but there are days that just slip my mind.

God father/human dad

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 06:30:00 GMT

it's very late in the night or very early in the morning, it depents how you see it. (3am)
a lot to do, a lot of 'stuff' to take care but quite quiet,
too many stuff too little time.

today (on Sunday actually) was Father's Day here, so me and my sister had to go over to see our dad and have lunch.
did i mention that I'm one of those childs with a disfuncional family?
i think that would explains a lot....
it has been a while since we (my sister and I) realised that our relationship with God is as bad as it is because we have like the worse relationship with our 'human' father...
nothing so catastrophic though, just a lot of disappointments and lack of communication from both sides (like my relationship with God!)

i'll write more later
but a question for all who wants to respond.

did your good or bad relationship with your parents affect your good or bad relationships with God?

human errors...

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 03:40:07 GMT

i have worked all day!
but i feel that i have done nothing...
it's a weird feeling

my sister is coming home tomorrow for breakfast, she is a newly wed.
I just thank God for give her a nice man, who is very eager to become a christian.
They didn't marry in the church though. My sister has a very stubborn personality and she feels she has been disappointed by a lot of people in church, including our former pastor, so now she has a problem with all the church institution.
But i hope she feels bless by God, which i think is what's important.

how could you manage to pass the human errors and still be able to congregate?

you only remember God when you are in trouble

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 23:05:23 GMT

people always say 'you only remember God when you are in trouble, when you are fine, you don't even think in Him'

i don't know when was the first time i heard that, but i know that at some point it made a clic on my way to relate to God and the way how i let Him into my problems.
as a Christian i was told to give grace every day, be thankful for every blessing, even those i couldn't see. I was also told to put my problems in His shoulders 'cos He could bear the burden that i wasn't able.
Although i have believed in this all my life, i always have problems with that last part....
not that i ever think that i'm some kind of invincible being with the ability to fix my own problems. But, because i feel so unworthy of His mercy sometimes, that i don't think is fair to ask for His help.
When i am feeling the blessings in my life, i thank God for it, i notice His hand in my life, family, friends, I thank just for be able to notice all His greatness in every aspect, in every little thing that He manage to show me, and i pray to radiate all those feelings to others so they can see how wonderful He is.
But, when i'm facing a problem, when i see that there is something i can't manage on my own, somehow that stupid phrase gets into my head "you only remember God when you are in trouble", and i start to avoid being in the same 'room' with God, just to not let Him know that i have a problem
some of you may say is pride, and probably it is... but i feel it like guilt. For all that i have done, for all i haven't done, for all the times He ask for me, and I didn't answer.
guilt guilt guilt

yes... i know that:

God will forgive me, and probable He already did
I have to forgive myself, and move on
i have to learn how to really put my pain in His shoulders
i even have to learn how to be thankful for the tasks and test in life, 'cos that's the way He is teaching me.

do you have the same problem?

this always makes me happy

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:48:09 GMT

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” ( 2Cor 12:9)

the why

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:49:18 GMT

well hello!
i don't know where to start...
should i present myself to you and tell you my life story, or just go to the problems of my life?
maybe i should start telling you Why i want to start a blog in a christian community, what moves me

well, i'm a xtian, i have been all my life, grow in a christian family surrounded by pastors and ministers of our God, but somehow i lost my way, and i got very into the world
nothing too 'serious', i didn't killed anyone, or got addicted to any drugs (a drink, a cigarette now and then), i didn't have irresponsible sex, or something like that. But although i am a very good girl to everyone eyes, I Know there's something terrible wrong with the way i've been living my life.
i shut God off.

anyway, i'm trying to get my act together, my worse fear is when i face my Lord, He won't say 'well done, good and trustworthy servant'.
but is hard, to live in the world trying to be a child of God; trying to escape my past, present and the shiny future that is present to me everyday and that is not in God's.

how you do it?

hello

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 20:02:23 GMT

i everyone! I'm just getting started on Revelife... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!"
Hola a todos! Recien estoy empezando en Revelife... vamos a ver que pasa ahora ^_^!

can i write you both in english and spanish??
english is not my mother language, although i speak it very fluently, jeje
but i was wondering if there are any spanish readers in tha house, because sometimes i would want to write in spanish,

Cynthia